Autumn

Autumn is here again.
But I know it's not here to stay

This time of the year I'm usually all happy and cheery in my own silly way.
I know that soon enough it will all be buried under the layer of clean and coldness of the snow and its freeze.

Now I'm just looking at the leaves changing colors and falling off the trees.
Beautiful yellows, oranges and reds.
Pretty indeed.
Children running around in the fallen ones, laughing and shouting. Being happy and all.

And all of this makes me wonder, is it also me?
Am I as well changing like the leaves of the trees,
or is it all just in my head, my imagination's tease?
This fall, it just feels different.
I need my silence, my calmness and my peace.
I need a cry once in a while to be able to say I'm good, I'm fine, don't you worry about me.

I got a fresh start this year,
I left behind my life and its ease.
I said goodbye to the school I grew up in,
and said so long to the people and friends of ten long years.
I left behind everything except my family and well... me.

I'm still here and I'm still me
I'm just in a new place, in the middle of new people who which I love dearly.
I'm just scared,
Am I loved as well or am I just nothing to them, nothing indeed.

Autumn is here again.
And so am I, maybe a year older, wiser and a lot more seen.
But it's me
And I'm the way I'm happy to be.

-et-