Yearning

I miss you. 
The real you. 
And I'll let you know, in case you didn't know this, that's all I feel toward you: yearning. 
Not the kind of yearning that I want to hold you in my arms and kiss you... to marry you and have your children... 
I just miss the real you. Or... I don't know you enough to say if it's real or not. It just felt real to me. 
But anyways, I miss the one, who wanted to talk to me. 
The one I couldn't stop laughing with at 4 o'clock in the morning. 
The one who told me we could talk about anything 
and the one that I actually talked about everything, 
even if there was so much I didn't get a chance to tell you. 
I miss the stories and the jokes you told me and made me giggle. 
I miss the promises we made, but didn't keep. 
I just miss having you as my friend. 
If I could turn back time, I would.
I would live again all the conversation, 
all the moments, 
all the feelings, 
every second of it. 
I don't know if I could say goodbye to all of it then, 
after hearing 
and living 
and feeling it all over again. 
But I loved it so much, that it's worth getting my heartbroken all over again. 
-et-